Independence

January 06 marked a new and wiser age for me, as I turned the ripe age of 24. Ted had to work on my birthday, so I decided to celebrate myself by venturing into San Francisco's Union Square for lunch and shopping. Other than Memphis, I have never been to a large city by myself. I've always been blessed with the company of friends or family, but I decided I would not be deterred by my solitary state. After watching Carrie take on New York in an episode of Sex and the City, I decided I too was capable of exploring a city on my own. I took the train into San Francisco, and prepared myself for a day of discovery.

Single female rule #10 - always bring something to read while riding public transportation.
I made the fatal mistake of not bringing something to read on the train, which seems to be a universal signal to creepy men everywhere that I, a solitary female, was in desperate need of male company and assistance. While I was gazing out the window, a white man in his late forties, early fifties, sat down next to me, map in hand. He asked me to point out the Civic Center on his creased map of San Francisco, which I did, and I informed him as to which stop was his. He took my help as a sign that I would like to continue the conversation, so he began debating the merits of San Francisco versus the cities he knew in South Africa, his home nation. Apparently he thought Market Street meant that an actual market was held on that street, as he kept asking me how good the prices were at the market there. He was disappointed to find that he would not be able to witness an American market, and I thought perhaps I should direct him to the shopping mecca of Union Square. But as that was my destination, and the man seemed to like me a little too much, I decided to let him discover Nordstom's and Macy's on his own. I breathed a sigh of relief as he stepped off the train, and mentally ran through a list of stores that I wanted to visit.

I shopped at the plethora of stores in Union Square until I couldn't walk anymore in my heels, and sat to watch the men playing chess near the square. Men of all cultures and ages gather there daily to challenge themselves to a game. A Hispanic man wearing a tight white tanktop and a skull cap moved his pawn against an ancient looking Chinese man sporting a long white mustache. Next to them, a black man in jeans and a tee-shirt moved his knight to capture the pawn of his Jewish opponent. I was enjoying the games when a homeless man, who was also watching the games, told me to get a TV and get lost. I took one look at his toothless grimace, and opted to leave the chess game behind and head to lunch.

I stopped to eat at a small cafe in the San Francisco shopping center, and was seated near two women in their early twenties who were discussing their careers. One was explaining that she currently worked for a non-profit that she cared deeply about, but she was horrified at the disorganization and lack of leadership at the company. She thought the goal of the company was to help people, but her effectiveness was stymied by all the red tape and sloppy record keeping of the company. The other girl was upset that the best job she could get as a recent college graduate was as a receptionist. Her friend consoled her that she would work her way up in the company, but she felt unhappy and ineffective in her job. Hearing their conversation, and recalling the similar conversations I've had with most people my age, I've come to the conclusion that the vast majority of people in their twenties desperately want to help others and make a difference. However, most of us end up in jobs that prevent us from working to our full potential. After a few years, the people who were once hungry to help others become frustrated and apathetic. It seems that there should be something we could do to optimize the effectiveness of an energetic and socially conscious workforce. Hearing the conversation of these two girls made me realize that the problems my friends and I faced in Tennessee are also shared by the workforce of one of the most liberal and socially conscious cities on the west coast, a fact I found both comforting and disconcerting.

As I rode the train back home, I realized how much I have grown up in the last few years. I now feel comfortable enough with myself to take myself shopping, to explore a city on my own, and to face uncomfortable or unusual situations head on, without fear. I feel more self-confident, more open to the world, more prepared to be a part of it, and more comfortable with who I am than I ever have before. My growing independence and confidence will serve me well when we go to explore Seattle in March! Hello 24!
By: Rebecca
Photo By: Ted